For the 10th of October 2022.
Hi everyone
At last, I have published the approved minutes for July and August.  For members only: please find them here
This next bit is IMPORTANT.
As I mentioned at the last lunch meeting, we are preparing for the next AGM. 
I’d like to have it before the end of November , at this stage it’s the 24/11/22, so save the date.  We will need a quorum to be in attendance.
If we don’t have a quorum and keep postponing the AGM, then we will be in breach of so many rules (RI, ACT Gov, probably the federal Gov),
Please just come to that meeting.
Anyway, an AGM  also means we as a club need to think about the club officers – will you nominate for one of the offices?
I’ll leave it there for this week.
Andrea Conti
This Week's Meeting (October 13th at 12.15 for 12.30 at The Commonwealth Club)
Michael will tell some tall tales and true of his adventures into the wild north of Australia in his Caravan.
Duty Roster  (October 2022)
October 6th
October 13th
October 20th
October 27th
Welcome & Opening the Meeting:
Greg G
Olek G
Liz S
Judy R
Toast to
Rotary at Work:
Peter D
Juris J
Thank Speaker and Write Notes
Russell D
Michael R
Graeme H
Bill A
If Unable To Attend On A Day You Are Rostered, Please Organise A Replacement.
Last Week's Meeting (September 27th) Dr Liz Hanna provided a Summary of the State of the Environment Report for Australia.
The Australian climate has risen on average by 1.4 degrees since 1800 and like the rest of the world is on track to reach 2.0 degrees increase by the year 2100.
Many natural systems in Australia have been shown to be collapsing from the research done by many scientists in various fields.
The reality is that the world has too many people to be supported by the natural environment and population growth is continuing to an estimated 9.0 billion people. The link between healthy environments and healthy humans will become more apparent as the warms to a greater degree. The projection in the longer term a decline will occur in populations due to weather events including heat exhaustion in some parts of the world.
Of the Global population; 2.3 billion people live with food insecurity and 45 million children suffer body wasting from lack of food and 149 million are permanently stunted each year. Plus 3.2 billion people live with water scarcity.
The report estimated that by 2040 one quarter of the world’s children will live in regions of extreme water stress and contamination. Only 0.0067% of the world’s water is actually fresh water.
The pressure on populations to access clean water and food could lead to greater wars and conflicts. 74 percent of the world’s disasters are water related
All these pressures on the environment could lead to greater migrations out of regions where summer temperatures prevent animal and vegetation life to exist and these regions will increase substantially through this century even in the best case scenarios of reducing Greenhouse emissions.
Andrea will provide a full copy of her seminar on the Club Runner Website.
Greg Gibbs has reminded us that two Activities will occur this month at the Nara Peace Park
23 October Nara park clean up
       9am BBQ after
29 October candle festival 
  3pm 9pm 
Volunteers required for 3 hour shifts.
The Jerrabomberra Club has invited anyone interested to their Meeting to hear Professor John Skerrit from the Therapeutic Goods Administration at the Jerrabomberra Primary School
This Thursday we will have Professor John Skerrit head of the Therapeutic Goods Administration speaking at our club. If any of your members are interested, we start with a meal for $20 at 6.30pm at Jerra primary school. Please let me know beforehand of numbers attending.
Regards john Talbot, Jerra Rotary
The jokes this week come from actual call centre conversations !!!!!  
Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.  
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.  
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.  
Operator: 'Sir, those are our opening hours'.  
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Samsung Electronics  
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'  Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.  Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning.  
Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'  
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.  ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
RAC Motoring Services  
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'  
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'  
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):  'If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the  other side of the car?'  
Directory Enquiries  
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.  Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'  Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell  off'.  
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.  Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'  
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.  ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box  told a worried operator:  
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.  ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.  Customer: 'OK'..  
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.  
Customer: 'No'.  
Tech Support: 'OK Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'  Customer: 'No'.  
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this  point?'.  
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.  ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see  the 'OK' button displayed?'  
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'  ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I  need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back  again?'.  
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EXCELLENT - - - - - - - BEST SO FAR !  
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time.  I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from  the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring  the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was  fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.  
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I  know why they record these conversations!):  
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'  Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'  Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'  
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words  went away.'  
Operator: 'Went away?'  
Caller: 'They disappeared.'  
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'  Caller: 'Nothing.'  
Operator: 'Nothing??'  
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'  Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'  Caller: 'How do I tell?'  
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'  
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'  
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'  Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I  type.'  
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'  Caller: 'What's a monitor?'  
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it  have a little light that tells you when it's on??' 
Caller: 'I don't know.'  
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the  power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'  
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'  
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged  into the wall.  
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'  
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there  were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'  
Caller: 'No.'  
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the  other cable.'  
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'  
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the  back of your computer.'  
Caller: 'I can't reach.'  
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'  
Caller: 'No.'  
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way  over??'  
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's  dark.'  
Operator: 'Dark??'  
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming  in from the window.  
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'  
Caller: 'I can't.'  
Operator: 'No? Why not??'  
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'  
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked  now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff  your computer came in??'  
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'  
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just  like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'  Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'  
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'  
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'  Operator: 'Tell them you're too f---ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
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