Thanks to everyone who turned up last Monday (24 April) to help out with lanterns for the ANZAC eve ceremonies by A Chorus of Women. It was beautiful autumn evening, even though it was getting chilly by the end of the night.
A Chorus of Women presented a concert of moving songs to commemorate ANZAC Day. A large crowd joined the choir and sang songs going back to Peter Paul and Mary as well as more modern hymns. Sharnaz Martin and her team from the Independent and Peaceful Network also contributed to this event committed to the cause of Peace.
A big effort by Warrick, Ross, Juris, Judy and Bill, and for a short time Michael, helped erect (and pack up and put away) several hundred lanterns which set a beautiful mood as the sun set. A memorable evening.
Bill Andrews, Warrick Howieson and Michael Rabey
Next meeting
Our next meeting be on 6 April at the Commonwealth Club at 12.15 for 12.30 pm. Gavin Smith, from ACT Snake removals, will speak about the Canberra Snake Tracking Project - Working with and for venomous snakes on the urban edges.
Duty Roster
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Date
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4 May
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11 May
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25 May
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1 June
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Door
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Ross Brown
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Ross Brown
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Ross Brown
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Ross Brown
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Open meeting and introduce President
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Russell Dew
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Stephen McMillan
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Bill Andrews
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John Little
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Thank speaker and write up for Bulletin
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Michael Rabey
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Russell Dew
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Judy Raymond
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Juris Jakovics
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If you are not able to perform your allocated duty, please arrange a replacement and advise Acting President Michael by email
michaelprabey@gmail.com. Please advise Stephen of any planned absences to avoid being rostered on while away (email address below).
Jokes
Too Many Squirrels
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about a squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.
At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry. The deacons met and decided to put a waterslide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Lutheran church decided that it was not right to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the waterslide.
The Anglicans tried a different path, setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.
But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
Don't mess with Kids!
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah'. The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?' The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.' The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.' Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honour' thy father and thy Mother, she asked 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?' Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?' Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.' The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. 'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor…' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.' 'Yes,' the class said. 'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?' A little fellow shouted 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
Eric Carmody
